=/

So like..yeah. Should have bought the 4D number eh?

~

Ever since that day..well, things have been a bit strained. But I finally made him take neoprints with me.

And I'm glad for the time we spent together above the Bras Basah complex. Really enjoyed it - just the hugging, and the talking. The talking was...sad in a way. But, I've never come so clean with a guy before. I nearly cried, I nearly cried. But, I just put my towel to my face and...lol =) He thought I was just wiping perspiration away. And I remembered that I kept looking away from him, coz I didn't want him to see my eyes, my face (my god, I sound just like the Chinese stories in Amy Tan's books now) and my expressions and thoughts.

I remember that I didn't want him to see all these, coz I was scared that it would scare him away. I don't know, after 5 relationships, if I could actually love him the way that I always have. It's like a disease has eaten into my heart where before, I would have known to give my love easily. I'm scared that there will always be a part of me holding back, waiting for the day when he turns on me and tells me that he doesn't love me anymore.

I'm scared that it will be because of this holding-back part, then I will not be able to love him fully, or enjoy my time with him fully - oh, of course I do enjoy every moment that I share with him right now but..I just fear for the future. If we have any.


Some people measure time in days.
Some people measure time in months.
Me, I measure time in moments
The moments that I spent with you.