I just realized that ever since that day, I've stopped using those endearing words like 'dear, darling, sweet" in my texts to him.
And to think just a few days before that, he was remarking about me using such words more regularly in my texts, to which I replied saying that it was because I wanted to feel more comfortable with such words before saying them out loud.
I really don't know how I can..fully trust him again? Even when I text him, I fall into the rhythm of typing those words out, and then I stop myself and tell myself "you said you'd make it hard for this one, why are you so trusting again after he hurt you?"..and then I press the Clear button and delete the words.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I'm not meant to love.
Maybe this is just another interval in my life. A long second, to know what it means to truly like someone and have that someone like you..straight from the start.
~
Yes, I'm emoing badly right now. He said something about Wangan that stung, and now..cleavage. Not that I feel I lack in that department - I just..=/
Suddenly I feel terrible. Good thing I pulled off the lashes already.
