Read his blog from last time.
Feeling really emo now. Like what I said..."i just feel sad that you were so sad last time"
I hope that this works out, and that I can make him happy.
I never want to see him sad.
I never want to be the one that hurts him the most.
Maybe that's why it's for the best that we stay as close friends, like what we have right now, without any commitments.
Because I always hurt the ones I love. Which is why I'm fucking scared to go into a relationship. It hurts, it hurts so badly - the fear of falling and losing again makes my legs go weak.
I just don't want to get hurt again, maybe. But it's his first time too, and I want to make it special for him, for both of us. Coz I've never enjoyed myself so much before with a guy - in terms of hanging and chilling together.
I feel special and happy with him. I feel..I feel a lot of emotions that I don't think I'll experience with such intensity with anyone else. I don't know how to put these feelings into words - suffice to say that I don't think I'll feel this way ever again (which is why I blog so much and in detail).
Oh and that I love him for being so accommodating - always coming to find me even though it's so late and stuff, or being like very sua, then we'll just slack around and stuff. I think it's what appeals to me - his sua-ness, and his manner of persuading me and stuff...
I don't want to forget you, but I've got STM. We both got STM.
I just..
*steels herself*
I'm just waiting for you, like I said I would.
